I didn’t start observing Lent until a few years ago. Being a relatively recent Christian, I quite liked the idea of a period of abstinence while at the same time reflecting on the spiritual and the mundane. Over two years ago, it was alcohol and crikey, that was a toughie. My job is hard and a tipple every so often takes the edge off so 40 days with my blood system receiving nothing but tea and water was a pain, I don’t mind telling you. The one plus is it gave my liver some well earned breathing space and it gave me a chance to reflect on life at the time. To be fair, I didn’t learn much about that period and then when Lent came last year, with Tina’s cancer diagnosis, there was no chance I was giving up anything.
This year, however, I figured it was time to give it another bash and being as Lent is supposed to be about giving up something I’d miss, I decided to stay away from social media. Though I’ve cut down on commenting and writing articles in the last couple of years, I still spend longer online than I should and so, I stepped away. Not completely. Though I tried to ignore the news, difficult as it is, I kept an eye on your comments, at FSB and The Portly Politico, had a browse of various articles and it was irritating not being able to put my thoughts below the line. But that’s rather the point, no? I was sorry to read about the plight of Jacqui Derriman. Though I don’t know her from Eve, I do know about the horrors of cancer, having watched the love of my life go through the treatment and the meetings and the waiting…oh, the waiting. I hated that as much as Tina did. Not knowing what was happening. Had the cancer gone? How many more hospital visits would we have to undertake? When Tina and I eventually got the news we were hoping for, we were ecstatic but still, it was an awful, drawn out period and fingers crossed, one we will never have to revisit. I do hope that Jacqui’s recovery goes as well as Tina’s and that she has the right people around her to aid her.
I caught the odd snippet of the news and didn’t know what to think about the recent Supreme Court ruling on the definition of a woman. How much time and taxpayer money did that cost? Was it necessary? A two year old would have been able to give them that answer. Heck, all the judges had to do was drop their trousers and dresses and compare and contrast. But we’re living in a topsy turvy world where up is down, black is white and nothing that seems remotely obvious is in the eyes of our rulers. What a world we’ve become.
I was watching King of Kings yesterday and laughed when I realised some of the comparisons with the modern age. Barabbas, the murderer, released into society while a good man, arrested for mere words, is crucified. Herod, scared by the prophesies, ordering the death of babies – how many abortions does Western society order annually? Maybe we have reached end times; when depravity is propagated and good people, who speak the truth, are castigated, what hope for the future? Over 2000 years and what has changed really? The same corrupt leaders spread fear and tyranny through our lands, propaganda and hearsay is madder than ever and the people have replaced their pitchforks and torches with handheld devices. If anything, it’s become more difficult nowadays to spread the truth than it was when Jesus walked the earth.
But I digress. What, if anything, did I learn from Lent? First off, I learnt that Lent means Spring. A period of rebirth, of renewal. In Christ’s case, the period in which he wandered through the wilderness, fasting, alone and being tempted by the Devil. As we know, he succeeded and came out, hardened and ready for the trials that would lead him to his inevitable death and resurrection. Being human, there’s no way any of us could do what Jesus did but we can be buoyed by the spirituality of his journey, by his rock solid faith and his strength in deterring the Devil’s seduction, especially when those temptations tend to come at our weakest moments. Giving up social media and alcohol, among the many things that people give up for Lent, is nothing really but like I said, we’re not the Son of God and all we can do is our best.
From my perspective, I learned that while my time online has been beneficial in some ways, it’s time I could have used to work on my book. In the 40 days, I did come up with another couple of novel ideas. One which I can write on my own and another, I’m looking at co-writing with Tina. I got the opportunity to knock down some notes and I think both have got the legs to work so they’re definite starters in the months ahead. I missed the below the line interaction but even if I could have commented, what would I have said? Do you know, I’ve reflected on the posts I have made since I first started commenting over a decade ago and if I had the inclination to check, I reckon I’d find hundreds, if not thousands, of repeat comments. Yes, I’ve managed to find ways to engage in different ways, on different topics and during the dark days of lockdown, I even managed to set up a way of meeting some of you off site, which I’ve loved, but for the main part, if I could have posted through Lent this year, I reckon over 60% of my comments would have been some form of previous posts I’ve made and that’s just time wasted. If anything, throughout this period, I’ve learned to think a bit more before clicking on the comment box. In my mind, that’s not a bad thing.
On similar lines, it’s reaffirmed a decision I made a couple of years ago, to stop writing political articles, which I used to do for TCW. I’ve said everything I can say on the useless despots in the media and government. Why keep repeating it? I’m not a politician, I can’t keep saying the same old tired lines and feel good about it. Some people can and well done them but that’s just not me. So they were a couple of things I reflected on recently.
I also reflected on my beliefs, mainly in God. As I’ve said to Tina, I came to God in a very different way to many Christians. When I started to take a good look at the world around me and realised that everything, from the worms to a blade of grass, from every molecule in the air, from the dirt beneath our feet to the people who trample on it daily, everything was there, created for a reason. Even wasps, with their arse daggers and perpetual hatred have a function in society. Without deep research into the purpose of the wasp, I couldn’t tell you what the point in them is but I know that God wouldn’t have put them there for no reason. Maybe it’s to keep us on our toes…who knows?
How does that make me Christian? Well, it doesn’t really but of all the religions this world has ever known, Christianity makes all the right sounds. Its moral and ethical base, its adherence to family values, to tradition to community. It suits me down to the ground but as I’ve already said, this is something very recent for me and each day, I get to learn more about it. Mainly through Tina, who has been a Christian all her life. I used to be an angry atheist, well, to be perfectly honest, more of a nihilist than an atheist. I had a pretty rotten childhood and though I was handed an opportunity to turn my life around for the better, it was the best part of 40 years before I learned to grow up. I tell you, being in a black hole for 40 years is no picnic but I firmly believe that God sent Tina to me to lift me into the light. I really do believe that and it worked. Just one of the many things I am thankful to God for.
I do hope, in the coming years, I can do justice to the life, the gift He gave me and ensure that as I take my last breath, I can say I left something lasting on the world, on the people around me. Lent gave me the opportunity to think more than I might, reflect on God’s greatest gift to the earth and his messages, which continue to resonate through time. We can never be as good, as kind, as sagacious as Jesus but we can do our best. As for me, well, I avoided the temptations for the period and it gave me some clarity. I think we all need that from time to time.